Parents Helping Their Child Who Has Bipolar Disorder

Apart from seeking assistance through the medical and health systems, the family, in particular the parents, have a unique and powerful effect on a child with bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorders can look different in children then they do in adults. Mood swings in children may shift more rapidly than they do in adults. So while a depressive swing in an adult may last a week or more it may only last hours in a child. Other differences are that adults are also more likely to have discrete times of depression or mania meaning that the times of depression or mania are distinct and separate from each other. In children these periods of distinct mood swings may not be present. In children who develop bipolar disorder at a young age are more likely to experience irritability and very frequent mood shifts.


During a depressive episode children may look frequently sad or tearful; they can be constantly irritable or they can be tired, listless or uninterested in their favorite activities. During episodes of mania children can be more irritable, aggressive or more inconsolable than adults who are experiencing the same mood swings. Children can also suffer from changes in their sleep patterns as well.


Children may have moods that seem to happen unexpectedly and appear to be entirely unresponsive to parenting efforts that are normally effective. Parents may feel that they have tried almost everything to avoid tantrums that last for hours or to alleviate their childís suffering.


Many parents feel guilty when neither tough love or consoling works to help the child. And the child may also feel guilty, frightened and confused when these powerful moods seem to take over their behavior and produce emotions and episodes that are hurtful to others.


Parents often want their children to have the same opportunities to be involved in school and family activities as others who donít suffer from bipolar disorder. But parenting a child with this condition isnít the same as parenting another child without the condition. Children with this condition can also exhibit different behaviors in different settings making a diagnosis difficult and producing disagreements between doctor, parent and teachers.


In general children with bipolar disorder have more violent outbursts and more difficulty controlling their behavior at home than at school or in other public places. At home their moods can shift rapidly, they may exhibit behavior of superiority, intense irritability, unusual aggression or unusual sexualized behavior or comments. Some children may also find the stressors of being at school will trigger their mood swings and their symptoms are more pronounced at school than at home.


Actually parenting your child or teen the way you would another child who doesnít suffer from bipolar disorder may be harmful to their mental health. These techniques donít work because of the intense mood swings that the child doesnít control. Parents need to give up their need to be in control of their child and instead teach their children to be in control of themselves.


Everyday teens and children with bipolar disorder struggle to regain control of their lives. They struggle with sleeping patterns, eating patterns, mood swings, friendships and feeling left out of their peer group. Parents can help by working to give their child a sense of control and creating stability and safety in their home environment.


Insisting that your child do what you want when you want it will drive both of you crazy. Children continue to need boundaries and structure but at the same time teaching them safe ways of controlling their own environment and accepting them for who they are, not who you want them to be.


Parents should ration out their energy. Having a child with bipolar disorder is like have a teen or child with a serious injury or illness in the house. It is true that they can grow up to live normal lives with friends, jobs and happiness but they first must learn how to productively express themselves at home. Donít worry about the unimportant things. If your teen comes home with a nose ring that is unimportant in the long-run. If they try to commit suicide that is much more serious.


Donít hold grudges against your teen or child. As much as your feelings may get hurt or you may feel out of control your child is suffering just as much. When under control of their mood swings it may not be so obvious but they are children and need the help and guidance of a supportive and loving parent, not a friend.


Always take any signs or comments about suicide or depression seriously. Just because they may have commented six weeks ago and never followed through doesnít mean they wonít follow through this time. Suicide is a very real risk to the child or teen when they are in a depressive episode. At these moments suicide feels like the only road out of their own personal torture.


Some teens also try to self-medicate using recreational drugs to control their mood swings and make them feel right. Substance abuse issues are serious and can negatively affect the medications that the individual is using to correct their mood disorder.


These are just some of the ways how parents can help their child who has bipolar disorder. The goal is to be creative, accepting, objective and seek help from outside professionals when necessary. Parents also find that support groups of other parents who are experiencing the same traumas at home help to encourage them as they face the anger, frustrations and irritability of a teen with bipolar disorder.